Coping While Committed: Faith-Filled Strategies to Handle Stress in Relationships

When I think about the moments that tested my ability to love well, they rarely happened on vacations, date nights, or celebrations. It was usually on a random Tuesday—when life piled up, stress pressed down, and I still had to show up for my partner, my child, my responsibilities, and myself. If you’re in a relationship while also dealing with the weight of daily life, you know what I mean.

Stress is inevitable. But spiritual immaturity, emotional blowups, or relational disconnect don’t have to be.

In today’s post, I want to share some real-life, faith-rooted ways to cope with stress while still loving well. Whether you're married, engaged, or building something serious with someone, this post will help you:

• Name your stress without shame

• Recognize when your stress is harming your relationship

• Communicate your needs clearly (without snapping!)

• Cope in ways that restore peace and reflect Christ

Let’s dig in.

When Stress Enters the Relationship Uninvited

One of the biggest misconceptions we carry is that stress is something we can ignore until it "blows over."

But here's the problem: stress rarely travels solo. It often shows up dressed as anger, exhaustion, impatience, or emotional withdrawal. And if we’re not careful, we lash out at the people closest to us.

In our home, we had to learn that emotions are indicators — not dictators. Feeling overwhelmed is valid. But how we respond matters just as much.

"Emotions are a good thing. They're indicators though. They're not dictators."

As believers, we don’t ignore our emotions. We name them, bring them before God, and choose how to respond.

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Ephesians 4:26)

Know Yourself So You Don’t Hurt Who You Love

The enemy of healthy relationships isn’t just miscommunication — it’s lack of self-awareness.

"Sometimes I do have an indication that something's off... but I'm not sure if it's showing to everybody else."

Learning how you personally manifest stress is a game-changer. Maybe you get quiet. Maybe you become critical. Maybe you want space but don’t know how to say it. Whatever your pattern, the more you can name it, the better your partner can support you.

Here are some ways to start:

• Journal how you feel during stressful moments

• Ask your spouse, "How do I act when I'm stressed?"

• Use an emotion wheel to go beyond just "angry" or "tired"

Growth starts when we pause to reflect, not just react.

Find Your Coping Rhythm (Without Hurting Your People)

When you're carrying a lot, healthy coping is not optional—it's essential.

One of the most healing habits I adopted was taking 30 minutes to decompress in my car after work. Before walking through that door, I needed to lay down the stress so I could pick up peace.

"There's no way I'm going to give that job 100% and come home and give my family 50."

Coping doesn’t have to be deep. It just has to be consistent.

Here are a few examples:

• A 20-minute prayer walk

• Worship music and silence

• Journaling

• Solo hobbies or creative outlets

• A simple nap (because you might just be tired!)

But coping isn't just about what you do. It’s also about what you ask for.

When you can voice what support looks like during stress, it gives your relationship a game plan.

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)

God Must Be Invited In

We can talk about coping skills all day, but if they exclude God, they will run dry. Period.

"We leave God out of our stress far too often."

Stress isn’t just physical or emotional. It's deeply spiritual. That’s why 1 Peter 5:7 tells us:

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

If you have to cast it 10 times in one day, do it. If you have to cry, pause, and pray mid-breakdown, do it. God is not annoyed by your stress. He’s your refuge from it.

"You cast that thing out to Christ and He give you what you need to deal with it in that moment."

Here are some ways we personally invite God into our stress:

• Prayer walks

• Speaking scripture aloud

• Worship before worry

• Asking the Holy Spirit, "What’s really going on in me?"

Stress reveals our limits. But God meets us right there.

"You will get done praying and you may get some type of revelation... It's not that big a deal. Let Me take care of it."

A Quick Recap for Your Next Stressful Moment

Here are five things to remember when you feel yourself unraveling:

1. Stress is real, but it’s not a free pass to be unkind

2. Alone time is not selfish—it’s smart

3. Ask your partner how you show up when you’re overwhelmed

4. Create a coping routine that resets you

5. Cast your cares on God—as many times as needed

"Figure out what it is so that you can show up as your best self in all spaces."

Let’s Talk About It

1. When you're stressed, how do you tend to show up in your relationship?

2. What’s one coping method that’s worked for you?

3. Do you have a plan for how to decompress before coming home?

4. How do you let your spouse know when something is off?

5. Have you asked God into your stress lately?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

And hey — if this blessed you in any way, we share more real-life, faith-rooted convos like this all the time. Subscribe to us on YouTube and join the family.

You’re not weak for needing to cope. You’re wise for learning how. And you are never alone in the process.

Episode 0030 | Marriage Changes Everything

Marriage Does Change Everything—Here's How to Make Sure It's for the Better

You ever heard someone say, "Marriage changes everything" like it was a warning label instead of a milestone?

Sometimes it sounds like shade. Other times, it's shared with a look of regret. But if you're someone who's either newly married, engaged, or even quietly wondering what marriage will do to your current relationship, I want you to lean in today.

W'e’re here to help you understand the changes that come with marriage — not just emotionally or physically, but spiritually and practically too. And more importantly, how to engage marriage with intention so that it transforms your relationship for the better.

Why It Feels So Different After "I Do"

If you cohabitated before marriage, you might think nothing will really change. You've done the chores. Shared bills. Even navigated conflict. But once you get married, things can suddenly feel off. Like someone changed the settings without telling you.

And they did. Spiritually.

"This is a spiritual ordination that takes place. And when those things take place, things in the spiritual realm change as well."

That shift isn't visible, but it's very real. You're no longer two individuals playing house. You're a covenant. A reflection of Christ and the Church. That weight alone comes with spiritual attention — and often, opposition.

This explains why some couples who seemed solid before marriage end up divorced within the first year. Something did change. But it wasn’t the contract. It was the shift from casual compatibility to covenant accountability.

The Comparison Trap

One of the most common changes couples feel is disappointment.

"You're comparing your husband or wife to the pre-married version... when it shouldn't have been happening in the first place."

Pre-marriage, everything felt fun. Fresh. Full of possibility. Especially if y'all were having sex, traveling, or "playing house" ahead of time.

Once married, those same experiences may now feel mundane. Or worse, missing. Especially if kids, work stress, or financial pressure enter the chat.

But here's the catch: You're not actually disappointed in your spouse. You're disappointed that the season changed.

"Every season doesn't require the same thing."

You’re growing. They’re growing. What worked during dating won't necessarily serve you in this new covenant. But it doesn't mean something's broken. It just means it's time to re-learn each other.

Intimacy Looks Different — But It Can Still Be Good

Let’s talk about the one everyone tiptoes around: sex.

Yes, sex can change after marriage. And that’s not always because of disinterest or rejection. Often, it’s life.

"I'm tired. I worked a double. We got kids. I had to go get the car fixed... It's not that I don't love you. It's just life."

Unlike the pre-marriage version of your relationship, intimacy now competes with everything. Work, bills, daycare pickups, your own internal stress.

That doesn’t mean passion is dead. It just means it may need to be scheduled.

And before you roll your eyes at that—intentionality isn’t unsexy. It’s sacred.

"We schedule everything else with our spouses. What's wrong with scheduling sex?"

If it matters to you, protect it with your calendar. Protect it with creativity. Protect it with communication.

Make Marriage Work On Purpose

There is a phrase that came up again and again in this conversation: intentionality.

If you want marriage to change everything for the better, that’s your golden key.

"Marriage is when you're doing your relationship on purpose with some actual care."

That means:

• Being honest about what you need.

• Showing up even when you’re tired.

• Checking in regularly.

• Noticing and celebrating what’s working.

• Talking through what isn't.

A powerful example shared was the weekly check-in. Just 30 minutes a week, using this format:

K.F.C.D.O. Check-In
(Kudos, Finances, Chores, Dates, Opportunities for growth)

1. Kudos: What did you appreciate about your spouse this week?

2. Finances: Are we staying on budget? Anything coming up?

3. Chores: Who's doing what this week?

4. Dates: When can we enjoy each other?

5. Opportunities for Growth: What could we do better?

"You want to be seen for all your efforts in the marriage. So this gives you the opportunity to watch your spouse."

Don’t underestimate how stabilizing this can be. When communication improves, everything else — including your intimacy — gets stronger.

Questions to Reflect & Discuss:

1. Are there ways I’m still holding onto my dating expectations?

2. Have we allowed life stress to steal our connection?

3. What does intentional intimacy look like in this season?

4. Are we still dating each other on purpose?

5. Do we need a communication reset or weekly check-in?

Final Encouragement

Marriage will change your relationship. But it doesn’t have to change it for the worse.

When you stop coasting and start engaging on purpose, everything from communication to intimacy can deepen. Not because you lucked out with a perfect partner, but because you showed up with intentionality, humility, and care.

So whether you’re just starting your marriage or navigating a hard chapter, start fresh today. Schedule your first check-in. Ask the deeper question. Be real about what you need.

You don’t need perfection. You need participation.

Share this with someone you know who's married or engaged. They need the reminder just like you did.

Episode 0029 | Care Over Convenience

You ever had that moment where you stop mid-conversation and realize: I’m always the one showing up? Maybe it’s a friend who never checks in, a relative who only calls when they need something, or a co-worker you thought was a friend until they changed jobs and vanished. That slow ache of feeling unseen or unvalued—it’s not just in your head. It’s a relational red flag.

Well, we want to invite you to something deeper: relational intentionality. This is about learning to show up well—not perfectly, but with heart. It’s also about placing people where they belong in your life, without guilt, while still honoring the call to love like Christ. Let’s get into it.

Recognizing the Buckets We Place People In

Not every relationship is created equal. And that’s okay.

Whether we admit it or not, we’re constantly categorizing people: best friends, work buddies, church associates, old college crew, and those "talk to them once a year" contacts. The problem? We often confuse quantity of years with quality of friendship. I’ve had people in my life for over a decade who never made it into the inner circle—and others I met last year who are now part of my vortex, my trusted few.

You get to choose who has access to your emotional energy. You don’t owe everyone your heart, but you do owe them your love; there’s a difference. That’s not unkind—that’s wisdom. Scripture reminds us to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), and that includes knowing who to let in and how far.

"Quantity of years doesn’t mean quality of friendship."

It’s Okay to Expect Something Real

Let’s set this straight right now: you are allowed to have expectations.

Somewhere along the way, many of us adopted this people-pleasing mantra: "I’m a low-maintenance friend." We say it like it’s a badge of honor. But what we often mean is, "I’ll take crumbs. I don’t want to be a burden." That’s not humility—that’s self-erasure.

"Let’s not confuse low effort with no effort."

Being intentional doesn’t mean being needy. It means being clear. You can’t expect someone to meet a need you’ve never voiced. Likewise, you shouldn’t feel bad for wanting reciprocal love, emotional presence, or simple follow-through.

Ask yourself: Are you letting people give you the bare minimum because you’re afraid they’ll leave if you ask for more?

"It’s okay to expect people to show up for you."

Show Up Even When It’s Inconvenient

Relationships take energy. And that means sometimes we have to show up even when it costs us something.

I’m not talking about toxic self-abandonment. I’m talking about those moments when your friend is calling and you’d rather zone out on the couch—but you pick up because you care. When you haven’t heard from someone in months, and instead of being petty with "phone works both ways," you send the text anyway.

"I really don't wanna talk on the phone but they calling me... Let me pick up the phone and talk because I value my connection with them."

This is the quiet muscle of maturity. Choosing connection over convenience. And when both people do it, something beautiful happens: you build safety.

Emotional Intelligence Is Kingdom Work

We talk a lot about emotional intelligence in the world—but what if we framed it as relational discipleship? Being emotionally aware isn’t just self-help; it’s Christlike.

Romans 12:10 tells us to "be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." This isn’t about being a doormat. It’s about choosing grace over ego. It’s saying, I see you. I notice the shift. I care enough to check in.

If they respond, great. If not, you can still rest in knowing you acted with integrity. Love, when it’s healthy, doesn’t demand—it offers.

Not Everyone Deserves Full Access

Let’s be real: you don’t have unlimited emotional bandwidth. And just because someone wants to be close doesn’t mean they should be.

Some people are seasonal. Some are situational. And some are just not healthy for where you’re going. That doesn’t make them villains. But it does mean you get to decide where they go in your life.

"You have the ability to take inventory of the people in your lives and determine if access should be granted or denied."

Don’t feel guilty for moving someone out of the inner circle. You can still be kind. Still love them from afar. Still wish them well. But access is earned, not owed.

Here’s the truth: you’re not asking for too much. You’re just asking the wrong people.

So, —check in with your heart today. Who's in your vortex? Who's been draining you dry? Who do you need to simply say, "I miss you. How are you?" to?

Intentionality is a choice. A muscle. And a mirror.

If you love them, show them.

And if you want more faith-rooted guidance on building stronger, more purposeful relationships, subscribe to our YouTube channel for more.

Episode 0028 | Navigating Low-Maintenance Relationships: Why "No Pressure" Shouldn't Mean "No Effort"

After a decade of marriage and doing life with each other, we’ve come to realize one truth that keeps bubbling to the surface: good relationships don't maintain themselves. Whether it’s marriage, friendships, or even our walk with God, intentionality matters. And lately, we've been hearing a term more and more—"low-maintenance relationships."

It sounds harmless enough. But in practice? It’s often used as a cover for inconsistency, neglect, and emotional laziness.

So today, we're diving into what "low-maintenance" really means, why it's become a relational trap, and how we can reclaim depth and care in our connections without expecting perfection.

What Does "Low-Maintenance" Really Mean?

At its core, "low-maintenance" was probably meant to describe relationships that are easygoing and drama-free. No pressure, no daily check-ins, no meltdown if we go a few days without texting. In theory, it should describe emotionally secure and trusting relationships.

But let’s be honest.

“People want friends. They don’t want friendship”

Too often, "low-maintenance" becomes a polite way of saying:

• I don’t want to be an inconvenienced.

• I don’t want to be responsible for showing up for you.

• I want the perks of the relationship without the investment.

The Myth of the Mind Reader

One of the biggest relational downfalls? Expecting people to know what you need without you ever saying it.

Whether it’s a spouse not complimenting your hair or a friend not checking in after a hard week, unmet expectations create distance. But were those expectations ever communicated?

Dr. Dharius Daniels sums it up best: "Clear. Concise. Contextual."

You have the right to express what you need. And others have the right to say whether or not they can meet that need.

“It’s unfair to expect someone to know what’s going on in your mind.”

That’s real maturity.

As James 4:2-3 reminds us (paraphrasing), "You do not have because you do not ask God." The same goes for our relationships. Silence breeds assumptions. Assumptions breed resentment.

Is It Really "Low-Maintenance" Or Is It Neglect?

We used to call ourselves "low-maintenance friends" because we didn’t want to be a burden. We didn’t want to be the friend who required effort.

But then we realized: we were settling for crumbs. And not because we didn’t need more—but because we were afraid to ask for it.

“Just because they’ve been around doesn’t mean it’s quality.”

Low-maintenance does not mean:

• You’re okay with being forgotten.

• You never need emotional support.

• You have no expectations.

Jesus didn’t call us to be emotionally detached. He called us to love deeply, serve one another (Galatians 5:13), and carry each other's burdens (Galatians 6:2).

Intentionality is love in action.

Friendships Aren't One-Sided

We see this play out in friendships often. One friend consistently makes the plans, checks in, prays, or offers help. The other? Silent until they need something.

When that imbalance shows up, you have the right to pause and ask: why am I still here? What do I believe about my worth that keeps me clinging to one-sided bonds?

It's okay to acknowledge when a friendship has run its course. Even Jesus let the rich young ruler walk away (Mark 10:21-22). Sometimes, honoring your own value means knowing when to stop chasing connection.

Your Needs Are Valid

You are not high-maintenance for wanting effort. You are not dramatic for wanting consistency. A real friend, a real partner, should want to know how to show up for you. And if they don’t? That’s your clue. Communicating your needs invites people into deeper relationship. Not everyone will rise to the occasion. But the ones who do? Worth their weight in gold.

Biblical Friendship: David and Jonathan

Scripture gives us a powerful example of friendship in David and Jonathan. In 1 Samuel 20, Jonathan speaks plainly to David about what he needs from him.

He doesn’t beat around the bush. He doesn’t sugarcoat it. He just says, "Here’s what I need." And David honors that.

True biblical friendships involve:

• Honesty (Proverbs 27:6)

• Loyalty (Proverbs 17:17)

• Sacrifice (John 15:13)

You deserve friendships rooted in these values. Period.

Access Is Earned, Not Assumed

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they should have unlimited access to you. We’ve learned to place people where they belong: some can come inside the house, but not to the bedroom. Some get the porch. And that’s okay.

“My love for you does not mean you have the same access as others in my life.”

Don’t confuse love with unlimited availability. Even Jesus had boundaries. He loved the crowds but retreated often (Luke 5:16). He had 12 disciples, but three in His inner circle. That’s wisdom.

Takeaway List: Reclaiming Healthy, Intentional Relationships

• Clarify what you need. Silent suffering helps no one.

• Stop settling for convenience-friends. Time doesn't equal quality.

• Use your voice. Teach people how to love you well.

• Respect your own capacity. It's okay to say no.

• Reassess access. Not everyone deserves full entry.

Let’s Talk

1. How do you determine when it’s time to walk away?

2. What’s one way you can love your people better this week?

Final Thoughts: You Can Start Today

If you're realizing you haven’t been showing up the way you want to, that’s okay. You can begin again.

Text that friend. Call your spouse. Pray for discernment.

Start putting marbles back in the marble jar. Bit by bit.

Because at the end of the day, intentional relationships reflect the heart of God. And we’re all better when we choose depth over default.

If this resonated with you, make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel where we unpack more truths about relationships, growth, and real-life faith.

Episode 0027 | What 10 Years of Marriage Taught Us & Tips That Could Help Yours

You ever wake up one day and realize that what felt like ten minutes was actually ten years? That was us. Ten years of marriage. One child, countless seasons, and more lessons than we could ever fit in a podcast episode. But we tried—and now, I’m unpacking those gems here.

Whether you're in year one of your marriage or still praying over your future spouse, I want to help you succeed faster than we did. Because yes, marriage is beautiful. But it’s also stretching, refining, and deeply spiritual work. And the sooner you embrace that, the sooner your marriage can thrive.

The First Big Shift: Relationships Shape Everything

Even the most self-proclaimed loners can't escape it: relationships shape our emotional health, our spiritual walk, and the way we experience life. Marriage just happens to be the one that mirrors all of it back to us the clearest.

“It’s not just one thing. It’s different things in different seasons.”

When we got married, we were among the first in our friend group to take that leap. Over the years, we’ve watched people marry, divorce, remarry, or give up entirely. So when folks ask, "What kept y’all together this long?" we could say communication. Or faith. Or therapy. And all of that would be true. But the honest answer? We never stopped growing—as individuals or as a couple.

Your twenties and thirties will demand different versions of you. And your marriage has to make room for both.

Emotional Intelligence: The Game-Changer Nobody Preaches

I can say without blinking: emotional intelligence has been the most underrated key to our longevity. Not just the ability to name a feeling, but the ability to handle it wisely. Emotional intelligence looks like:

• Knowing what you're feeling before you react

• Communicating those emotions clearly and respectfully

• Understanding your partner's emotional needs even when they don't say them outright

“If people could get a handle on their emotional intelligence earlier, their marriage would be better off.”

But here's where many couples get stuck: They either misidentify what they feel, or they express it in ways that create more distance. That’s why so many arguments aren’t about the topic at hand—they’re about unmet emotional needs that no one has slowed down to name.

And when emotions get hot? That’s when real communication is tested. Not in casual, daily conversation. But in the high-stakes, vulnerable moments where your reactions could build a bridge or set fire to everything.

Therapy Early, Not Just When It's Urgent

From day one, therapy has been part of our rhythm. Not because we were falling apart, but because we wanted to build wisely. We sat on a counselor's couch when things were good so that we could keep them good. And when life threw us curveballs, we had the tools ready.

Therapy helped us:

• Spot unhealthy patterns before they exploded

• Learn to argue with care instead of chaos

• Be better friends, not just spouses

And eventually, therapy gave us permission to go deeper individually. That led to our next major key—the relentless pursuit of personal healing.

Heal Fast. Grow Up Sooner.

A hard truth? Some people grow old, but they never grow up. We've mentored couples who have been married longer than us but are still arguing like teenagers because they never matured emotionally.

“Even if there was nothing to talk about, we made sure we sat on someone’s couch.”

Spiritual wounds. Childhood trauma. Generational patterns. If you don't unpack them, they will eventually unpack themselves—on your marriage.

Here’s what that looked like for us:

• Exploring our triggers (Why does this tiny thing set me off?)

• Naming our wounds (Where did this fear of abandonment start?)

• Owning our defaults (Why do I withdraw instead of speak up?)

And here’s what it didn’t look like:

• Blaming each other

• Expecting the other to fix it

• Justifying toxic behavior

Growth is a choice. But it starts with a mirror.

Vulnerability: Where Intimacy Lives

True intimacy isn't built on sex, vacations, or anniversaries. It's built on vulnerability—the kind that lets your spouse into the ugliest, hardest, most human parts of your story.

That stops today. Because real friendship inside marriage only happens when you're willing to be seen. And that kind of openness only flourishes when there's safety on both sides. That means:

• No emotional punishments for honesty

• No dismissiveness or shutdowns

• Radical grace for each other's growth journey

You may not be there yet. But start with the decision to stop hiding.

Quick List: How to Stay Married and Like Each Other

1. Commit to therapy early and regularly

2. Learn emotional intelligence as a survival skill

3. Never stop growing individually

4. Create a safe space for vulnerability

5. Let Jesus be the foundation, not a footnote

Final Thoughts: Start With You

The best gift you can give your marriage is a healthier you. We’ve had our share of fights, dry spells, and disagreements—but we fought for healing. We put our egos down. We chose to grow.

"You may be a late bloomer, but it's not too late to take initiative in your growth."

Your marriage doesn’t have to look like ours. But I promise you: the principles work. And God is still in the business of restoring and renewing what feels broken beyond repair.

If this helped you, share it with someone who’s praying for this kind of breakthrough.

So, Ask Yourself…

• Where do you struggle the most: emotions, communication, or vulnerability?

• Have you and your spouse ever done therapy together?

• What old belief or habit might be holding your marriage back?

• How do you respond when your partner expresses hard emotions?

• What would "growing up" look like in this season of your relationship?

"Some things just aren't that deep. You have to grow up."

Episode 0026 | Being closed off was RUINING US

Hey, y'all! Today I want to dive into something that's been on my heart for a while—vulnerability in relationships. Now, I know some of y'all might be rolling your eyes, thinking, "Here we go with that touchy-feely stuff," but hear me out. This is about getting real and breaking down those walls we've built around ourselves.

Let's talk about being closed off to your spouse or partner. I've been there, and let me tell you, it's like trying to drive with the parking brake on—you ain't going nowhere fast. Being vulnerable, though? That's where the magic happens. It's about letting someone see the real you, the messy, imperfect you. And yeah, it's scary as hell, but it's also where intimacy and connection thrive.

Now, I'm not just talking just to talk. I've been working on this in my own life, and it's been a game-changer. It's not just about opening up to your partner, either. It's about being real with your friends, your family, and even yourself. It's about having those tough conversations, admitting when you're wrong, and asking for what you need.

But let's keep it real—vulnerability comes with risks. You might get hurt, you might face rejection, but you know what? That's all part of the deal. It's like jumping off a dresser as a kid (not that I'm endorsing that, please don't sue me). You might fall, but you also might fly. And even if you do fall, you'll learn something from it.

I've been reading and researching this topic, and I've come to realize that being vulnerable is not just a personal thing; it's a societal thing. We're living in a world that's obsessed with perfection, where everyone's trying to put their best foot forward on social media. But what if we showed the real, unfiltered version of ourselves? What if we shared our struggles and our victories, not just the highlight reel?

In my journey, I've had to face some hard truths. I've had to admit that I was afraid of conflict, that I was a people-pleaser, and that I was holding back from being fully myself. It's been a process, but I'm learning to embrace vulnerability, to see it as a strength, not a weakness.

So, what's the takeaway from all this? It's simple. Be real. Be you. Let people in. It might be uncomfortable, it might be messy, but it's also the path to deeper connections and a more authentic life.

Now, I want to hear from you. What's been your experience with vulnerability? Have you found it challenging? Liberating? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and let's keep the conversation going.

Episode 0025 | Fix your marriage! Look at yourself first...

The Mirror of Marriage: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Vulnerability

Hey, y’all

Let's get real for a moment. Marriage is more than just a union of two hearts. It's a journey of self-discovery, a dance of vulnerability, and a mirror that reflects our deepest truths. Today, I want to share some insights from my journey and how looking at ourselves first can be the key to fixing our marriages before they break.

The Power of Self-Awareness

When I think back to the early days of my marriage, I wish I had known more about myself. It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of love and forget that marriage is also about two individuals growing together. I was so focused on being the perfect wife and building my career that I lost sight of my passions and interests. It's crucial to invest time in understanding who you are, what you love, and what makes you tick. This self-awareness not only enriches your life but also adds depth and color to your marriage.

Embracing Vulnerability

One thing my husband and I have learned over the years is the importance of vulnerability. It's the bridge that connects our hearts and allows us to share our deepest fears, desires, and dreams. But it wasn't always easy. There were times when we both struggled to open up, fearing judgment or rejection. However, we realized that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. It's about trusting your partner with your true self and knowing that you're safe in their hands.

The Dance of Communication

Communication is the heartbeat of marriage. But it's not just about talking; it's about sharing your authentic self. I used to be afraid of expressing my feelings, worried about how my husband would react. But keeping silent only built walls between us. We've learned that being open and honest, even when it's uncomfortable, is the key to understanding and supporting each other. It's a dance of give and take, where both partners need to be willing to listen, empathize, and grow together.

The Mirror Effect

Marriage has a way of mirroring our deepest insecurities and flaws. It's like holding up a mirror to our souls and seeing both the beauty and the scars. This can be confronting, but it's also a gift. It allows us to see ourselves through our partner's eyes and work on areas we might have ignored. My husband and I have had our fair share of arguments, but each one has been an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and each other.

The Journey of Growth

As we approach a decade of marriage, I'm amazed at how much we've grown, both individually and as a couple. We've learned to embrace our differences, celebrate our strengths, and support each other through our weaknesses. It's a journey that requires patience, forgiveness, and a whole lot of love. But it's worth every step.

So, to those of you who are just starting this journey or are in the thick of it, remember to look at yourself first. Invest in self-discovery, embrace vulnerability, communicate openly, and be prepared to grow. Marriage is a beautiful dance, and when you're in sync with your partner, it's a dance that can last a lifetime.

So, I want to know. What's one thing you've learned about yourself through your marriage? And how has vulnerability played a role in your relationship?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let's continue to support and learn from each other on this beautiful journey of love and growth.

Until next time, stay focused.

Episode 0024 | Living Apart, Together?

In the whirlwind of modern life, where everything from our phones to our food is customizable, it seems like even the sacred institution of marriage isn't immune to the winds of change. Recently, we stumbled upon a conversation that got us thinking deep about what it means to be truly together in a marriage. In this conversation we touched on something that seems to be a growing trend – the idea of married couples living separately.

The New Wave: Living Apart Yet Married

Here's the deal: some folks out there are entertaining the idea that even after tying the knot, they can keep their separate pads, living apart while still being married. Now, you might think, "Hey, that's cool, do you!" But hold up, let's unpack this. Isn't marriage supposed to be about uniting, about becoming one? About sharing not just your hearts but your space, your daily lives? I mean, that’s truly what intimacy is; more than just physical proximity.

Intimacy isn't just about being physically close; it's about sharing those little moments, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's about waking up to each other's messy hair and morning breath, about navigating the tightrope of shared chores, and yes, about those cozy nights and lazy Sundays together. Can you genuinely build and grow that kind of intimacy if you're clocking out to separate addresses at the end of the day?

The Cultural Shift and Its Implications

We're living in times where individuality is celebrated, which is fantastic. But are we pushing it to the point where it starts to encroach on the fundamental essence of togetherness in marriage? Anthony pointed out something crucial – with culture constantly evolving, we are inadvertently setting ourselves up for relationships that lack depth and real connection, especially if we keep trying to push these newer and unvetted narratives. It can often be dangerous if we’re moving and thinking with just our hearts… what we “feel” is right. It’s why Scripture talks about “the heart being deceitful above all things. How can we know it?”

The Power of Presence in a Marriage

Now, let's be real. Everyone needs their space, their me-time. But there's a world of difference between finding your little corner of peace in a shared home and living entirely separate lives. As Essence rightly said, marriage is a commitment, a journey you embark on together. It's about facing the world side by side, not zip code by zip code. We should at least always remember something vital – the original blueprint of marriage. In a world where trends come and go, where the new is always seemingly better, sometimes sticking to the fundamentals, to the simplicity of togetherness, is revolutionary in its own right.

So, what's your take on this? Is living separately the new frontier in marriage, or are we drifting away from the true essence of being together? Share your thoughts, experiences, and let's dive into this conversation.

Until we meet again, keep embracing your journey, whether it's together under one roof or navigating the complexities of modern love.

Episode 0023 | Rest & Faith

Hey y'all,

So, check this. in this episode we kind of got into a little of everything – the heart, the soul, and yeah, the wallet too. We unpacked a lot about our journey together, and honestly, it was a really good. Let’s walk through it.

Love is a Trip, And Who Said Trips are Easy?

Here's the thing about relationships: they're like those road trips where you don't always have the map, but you've got the destination in mind. We realized our relationship is this ever-evolving journey. We've had to navigate through some rough patches, sure, but that's where the growth happens. It's like every disagreement, every misunderstanding, was actually setting us up to understand each other better.

We've learned to find our rhythm. It's about those moments when you're like, "Okay, I see you," and you adjust, you adapt. It's never about changing who we are, but about evolving together, you feel me?

What has made the world of difference, though, is our faith. For us, faith is not just about what happens in a church building. It's about how we live out those beliefs day-to-day… with each other especially. It's been the glue when things got messy, the light when things looked dim. Our faith has shown us how to back each other up, to pull strength from God.

We've had those moments, but God kept us anchored. It's taught us to see the best in each other, to keep pushing even when it's tempting to pull back.

Let's Talk Money – Keeping It Real and Right

Alright, onto the real talk – managing our finances. This part of the journey’s been interesting, for real. While we both have always been about saving, making sure every dollar is doing the most. One of us is a little more, let's say, 'free' with the spending than the other. What we've learned is this: it's all about balance and understanding.

We had to find a middle ground with our money. It's like mixing that saving-savvy mindset with the freedom to enjoy life. We've been learning how to make financial decisions that reflect both our values and our dreams. It's not just saving for a rainy day; it's also enjoying the sunshine right now. This is really where the mindset of truly being able to have faith in God comes in to play.

One thing we realized, that helps a lot, is how crucial it is to have shared goals. It's like setting the coordinates in your GPS – you both know where you're heading, and you work together to get there. Whether it's about stacking our coins, planning for our future, or just personal aspirations, having these mutual goals has given us direction. It also builds on our intimacy because we get to talk about these goals and the journey on the way to them together as well.

It's not always smooth; sometimes, we gotta recalibrate, adjust our plans. But the key is doing it together. It's about being co-captains on this voyage of life.

Rolling With the Changes – It's All Part of the Ride

Now, here's a major key – embracing change. Life's gonna throw curveballs, and how we swing at them is what matters. We've learned to be open to change, to adapt. Whether it's habits, financial decisions, or just our perspectives, being flexible has been vital.

It's about recognizing that change isn't a threat; it's an opportunity to grow, to become even stronger together. It's about keeping our eyes on the prize and remembering that every step, every shift, is part of our journey.

So there you have it.

But what about you? How are you navigating your relationships, your beliefs, and your money matters? Drop a comment, let's exchange some wisdom.

Until the next time, keep loving, keep believing, and keep your money game tight!

Episode 0022 | Quitting Well…

Hey y'all, it's Anthony. Today, I want to share a bit of the craziness Essence and I have been experiencing at the time of writing this. It's about those life moments – the ones that test you, teach you, and transform you.

Parenting: The Unexpected Turns

We've been on this parenting journey, right? And, man, it's nothing short of a wild ride. Recently, our four-year-old decided sleeping alone wasn't his thing anymore. We've been navigating this new phase, trying to understand his needs while also balancing our own. Through all of this we’ve been learning and accepting that parenting is like being on a constant learning curve, and it's always throwing something new at you.

The Power of Vulnerability

One thing that has helped us with that parenting and many other aspects of our lives is learning what it means to be vulnerable. Here's the deal about vulnerability: it's tough but necessary. Essence and I have been leaning into it, and let me tell you, it's been a game-changer. It's about shedding the layers, being open, and really seeing each other. This level of honesty brings us closer and strengthens our bond. It's not just about airing out our worries but also about celebrating our victories, no matter how small.

Faith: Our Guiding Light

In moments of self-doubt and reflection, our faith has been our anchor. I had this moment where I questioned my path, wondering if I'm just a quitter, jumping from one thing to another. Essence, with her insight, reminded me that it's not about sticking to something for the sake of it. It's about following God's plan for us. That perspective – understanding that our journeys are divinely orchestrated – brought clarity and peace.

The Journey of Growth and Support

Having each other's back through life's ups and downs is a blessing. Whether it's dealing with our son's changing habits or exploring our personal growth, having that support system is invaluable. It's about understanding, supporting, and growing together.

Reflections and Realizations

Our recent discussions have led to some profound realizations. Like how our actions, even when they seem small, can sow seeds for the future. How ending one chapter isn't quitting but rather moving in obedience to God's plan. And how, in a culture that often glorifies constant hustle, it's okay to pause, reflect, and change course as needed.

In this journey of ours, it's a mix of embracing the unpredictable nature of parenting, the strength found in vulnerability, being ok with where God has us and is leading us, and the guiding light of faith. It's about balancing life, growing together as a family, and staying true to ourselves and our beliefs.

I'm Curious:

• Have you faced moments in parenting that caught you off guard? How did you navigate them?

• How has being vulnerable impacted your relationships and personal growth?

• In what ways has your faith influenced your life choices, especially during uncertain times?

I'd love to hear your stories and perspectives. Drop a comment and let's keep the conversation going, supporting each other through this journey called life.

Episode 0021 | The “Standards” Trap

Navigating the world of relationships as a millennial is like playing a game where the rules keep changing. We're constantly bombarded with societal expectations and cultural norms that don't always align with our individual experiences or desires. It's time we talk about this, break down some of these expectations, and pave our own path in the world of love and relationships.

Beyond the 'Perfect Partner' Checklist

Let’s start with this idea of the 'perfect partner' that society often shoves down our throats. You know the drill: they gotta look a certain way, come from a certain background, tick all these boxes. But let’s keep it real – aren’t we losing sight of what truly matters? A partner's worth shouldn't be measured by their ability to meet a set of superficial standards. It’s about finding someone who complements your vibe, shares your values, and supports your dreams; every sense of the scripture that calls us to be “equally yoked”. We need to challenge these norms and define for ourselves what qualities are non-negotiable in our partners.

Cutting Through Dating Stereotypes

Dating stereotypes – we’ve all seen them, and maybe even laughed at them. But deep down, these stereotypes can influence how we perceive potential partners. There's this image of the ‘ideal’ relationship that often gets portrayed in the media, but how often does that reflect our reality? It's time to cut through the noise and embrace our individual preferences in love. It's about being authentic in our choices and not letting stereotypes dictate who we should be with.

Redefining 'Relationship Goals'

Our feeds are full of 'relationship goals,' but let's pause and think – are these goals realistic, or are they setting us up for disappointment? True relationships aren’t just about looking good together or having the perfect story. They're about building something real and meaningful, something that stands the test of time and grows with us. It's about finding that person who's in it for the long haul, who understands the struggles and triumphs of millennial dating in today's world.

The Importance of Self-Discovery

Before jumping into a relationship, it’s crucial to know who you are and what you stand for. Self-discovery is a journey that many of us might overlook in our rush to find 'the one.' But understanding our own values, goals, and dreams is essential to forming healthy relationships. It’s about bringing your whole self to the table and finding someone who resonates with that authenticity.

Seeking Authentic Connections

At the heart of it all, what matters most is authenticity. In a world where appearances are often valued more than substance, it’s vital to seek connections that go beyond the surface. It's about finding someone who gets you on a deeper level, someone who’s not just there for the good times but who will stand by you through the challenges too. This kind of authentic connection is worth more than any societal ideal of a perfect relationship.

Conclusion

As we navigate this complex world of relationships, it's important to remember that our experiences as millennials are unique. We need to own our narratives and not let societal expectations dictate our journey in love. This journey should honestly, only be dictated by God. It's about finding someone who aligns with our authentic selves, who understands our struggles and shares our dreams.

Question…

• In your experience, how do you stay true to yourself while navigating the modern dating scene?

• What steps can you take to ensure that your relationships are built on a foundation of authenticity and mutual respect?

Let's open up the floor for discussion. Share your thoughts and experiences below. Let’s keep this conversation going and support each other in redefining what relationships mean for us in today's world.

Episode 0020 | Waiting Well

Episode 0019 | Are You Afraid To Be Uncomfortable In Your Anger?

Episode 0018 | Our Testimony pt. 2

Episode 0017 | Our Testimony pt. 1

Episode 0016 | Many get this wrong, but YOU WON'T!

Episode 0015 | "The Golden Rule" ... Abused 😲

We have heard the adage of "Loving Thy Neighbor" all our lives, but how do we truly apply this, and when is it used out of line?

The Story of the woman at the well (John 4: 7-26)

Then a woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink”— 8For His disciples had gone off into the city to buy food— 9The Samaritan woman asked Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me, a The Jews considered Samaritan women ceremonially unclean. Samaritan woman, for a drink?” (For Jews have nothing to do with Samaritans.) 10Jesus answered her, “If you knew [about] God’s gift [of eternal life], and who it is who says, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him [instead], and He would have given you living water (eternal life).” 11She said to Him, “Sir, The woman’s response is due to the fact that “living water” was the normal description for running water. She probably thought that Jesus was referring to the underground water source that fed the well. You have nothing to draw with [no bucket and rope] and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? 12Are You greater than our father Jacob (renamed Israel in Gen 32:28) was the son of Isaac, grandson of Abraham and father of the twelve sons who established the twelve tribes of Israel. Jacob, who gave us the well, and who used to drink from it himself, and his sons and his cattle also?” 13Jesus answered her, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. 14But whoever drinks the water that I give him will never be thirsty again. But the water that I give him will become in him a spring of water [satisfying his thirst for God] welling up [continually flowing, bubbling within him] to eternal life.” 15The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not get thirsty nor [have to continually] come all the way here to draw.” 16At this, Jesus said, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 17The woman answered, “I do not have a husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I do not have a husband’; 18for you have had five husbands, and the man you are now living with is not your God does not regard cohabitation as marriage. Marriage is a binding, legal covenant between a man and a woman. husband. You have said this truthfully.” 19The woman said to Him, “Sir, I see that You are a prophet. 20Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews say that the place where one ought to worship is in Jerusalem [at the temple].” 21Jesus replied, “Woman, believe Me, a time is coming [when God’s kingdom comes] when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You [Samaritans] do not know what you worship; we [Jews] do know what we worship, for salvation is from the Jews. 23But a time is coming and is already here when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit [from the heart, the inner self] and in truth; for the Father seeks such people to be His worshipers. 24God is spirit [the Source of life, yet invisible to mankind], and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (He who is called Christ—the Anointed); when that One comes, He will tell us everything [we need to know].” 26Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you, am He (the Messiah).”

Episode 0014 | Misunderstood The Assignment! Are you a servant or just an opportunist?

It is very easy this day in age to confuse servitude with misrepresented opportunism. The question is, how do we avoid this? Let's find out in today's episode.

Episode 0013 | THE AUDACITY to be offended?

In this episode we explore how and why others are offended by the christian faith. Where it's wrong, and where it doesn't add up.

Episode 0012 | SUBMISSION! What’s The Issue?

With the social status where it is this day and age with relationships and the false emphasis, the high value man, and the independent woman. Where is the room for submission between man and woman. Let's explore it this week's episode.